失控

最近不開心.覺得有點絕望,不清楚怎樣可以面對將來.

用金錢及酒精來消愁. 1,000 元後,感覺冇變. 繼續不開心下去.

知道 shopping 和飲酒不是一個理智的解決,昨晚我取消了65 元的 Amazon order.

週末做家務和游水,希望因為忙碌,不會有時間去想不開心的事.

無論用無數個方法去麻醉自己,只有時間先可以沖淡一切.

The Great Pretender

The Platters was a band I listened to from my parents' CD collection when I was young. A song I clearly remember to this day is "The Great Pretender."

The lyrics resonate my feelings so well - especially when one of my friends (SW) reminded me of it during a long hike in the woods (before I read the book from the previous post).

In conversation, we had discussed how most people do not discuss their feelings. I disagreed because I told him that most people show it through their facial expressions and actions. But he asked me whether I would ever tell anyone face to face that I'm not happy.

At that moment, I had to partially agree with his point. I rarely discuss my feelings openly. On the rare occasion, I only do so to a very select group of people.

In a way, I have become a hypocrite.

The Language of Love

I have wanted to read a particular book for a long time. On Friday night, my friend was finally able to lend it to me. Thank you sui gwei and Dr. Chapman!!

In the book, I have found several quotes I should strive to live by/continue to live by:

1. The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.
   
   
2. Forgiveness is the way of love. The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment, a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender.
   
   
3. Love makes requests, not demands. When one demands things from the other person, one person becomes the parent and the other becomes the child. Complying with a demand is an act of fear or guilt or some other emotion, but it is not an expression of love. A request builds the element of choice. Love is always a choice.
   
   
4. Quality conversation requires not only sympathetic listening but also self-revelation.
   
   
5. We are influenced by our past, our parents, and personality but are not controlled by it.

I am not yet finished with the book, but I am looking forward to applying these principles in life.