50/50

I have been feeling down lately. The past few weeks have not been good to me. Today's stress stemmed mainly from school, but lately, it was also family issues and emotional issues. I can't say that I'm 0% happy, I'm glad I have my family, friends, health, and other things, but it's hard to feel 100% at the moment.

I notice that when I'm sad, I tend to stay up late into the night, not wanting to go to sleep. In the morning, I am exhausted, and I have no energy for work.

It's almost as if I'm giving up on myself. It's like I've given up on the things I love, just because I'm so depressed. I'll try to snap out of this one.

I'm thinking maybe it's time for some major change...

Living

It's been a tough few weeks. One of my best buddies left town for another job across the country. I felt I answered less than stellar on my midterm. I found out someone has moved on with their lives and is offering someone else what I had wanted all along. Plus, I lost out on a great investment opportunity. Work is crazy busy (this time it's just busy, not really anyone's fault).

These all added up to many tears and lots of stress, coupled by unrestful sleep. I felt really tired, so the investment opportunity was taken as a sort of way to shake myself out of this dark hole I was falling into.

At first, it seemed right. The opportunity was ripe, very little work needed to be done, it would be relatively easy to maintain, location was busy, but still ok. The layout was not bad. We scraped together the financing. But once the deal fell through, I felt like I didn't want to commit so quickly again. I wouldn't have rushed into this with such enthusiasm had I not spotted the potential, but once that's gone, I didn't feel like I need to act on the next opportunity so quickly again.

I want to gather my thoughts, and most likely my savings before I jump in. But tomorrow, I am doing exactly what I wouldn't expect myself to be doing. It's funny how this always works against my favour. Maybe it's all in the cards. Well, let's see what happens anyways. It's too late to turn back now. *sigh*...