Letting Go

Just because I laugh and smile, doesn’t mean I’m not hurting from the pain. Aside from other more pressing and concerning issues in my mind, there are times when I am now able to forget about the unhappiness, something that has been alluding me these past few months.

I am starting to make progress in my life. I feel a bit removed from the whole situation. Even though there is the odd occasion in which we communicate. The general sense I'm getting is that this person no longer wants to deal with me on a personal level. The talk may all sound casual and friendly, but to me and to this person, it is only civil and on the surface.

I am not going to stop talking about the uneasiness until I feel that it no longer hurts me. It is then that I learn to do things on my own terms, and learn to let go.

The Box

I am feeling like things are getting a little bit easier. Contact was finally made from the other party. Although there wasn't any meaningful conversation, we were at least civil if not on friendly terms, discussing the everyday things that friends talk about.

This weekend, I finally decided to put the things that were close to my heart during the past year away. I had told a friend of mine earlier that I couldn't let go of these things, but they took up alot of my desk space and I was constantly reminded of the unhappy times that accompanied these everyday objects - or a longing of what was and could have been.

On Saturday, I happened upon this wooden memory box. It's a box I've wanted since I first saw it some 5 years ago, but never really thought I had the need for. The colour I wanted wasn't there, but not sure if destiny had a hand in this, it was offered at 30% off it's regular price in a store closing sale (ironic enough?)

So I bought it, deciding at once that it would house both the happiest and one of the saddest times in my life. And with this box another chapter of my life has ended, and another begins...

2008

2008 is finally here. I never really made any concrete resolutions before, but this year I have one. I plan on picking myself back up and dusting myself from all the hurt, then try to move forward with my life. This sounds like a sensible choice, especially if you were in my case.

How this will be done is still undetermined at this point. I've been told by alot of people before that I'm a thinker. There's a 50/50 chance that I might try to achieve this by not thinking at all, or putting all my energy into thinking of a solution.

For now, I will just let things take their course. I am looking forward to the day where things will be ok again. This day may never come, it may be soon, or it may be later, but the hope is still alive, and my faith will never falter.

Happy New Year everyone.