Merry Christmas :(

Christmas for me this year was relatively quiet and spent in the most unconventional way. Instead of staying home with family or going to church, I went skiing with friends. It wasn't extremely merry as each of us were dealing with our own little problems in the back of our minds.

All in all however, we did end up spending it together, which made it alot less lonely and sad.

After hitting the slopes and returning home in the early evening, I opened gifts from some of my closest friends and my family. This cheered me up a little and I thought I was going to be able to handle the rest of the holidays without getting more upset.

Last nite however, we ended up going out for a family activity that reminded me once more of the demons that haunt me. I dealt with this by taking it out on myself, and perhaps overindulging on something I should be staying away from.

I am not the kind of person that deals with change very easily. With each passing year I lament the time that passes, of every moment that should have been. However, with my recent track record and the emotional roller coaster I am going through, I am beginning to look forward to the new year in hopes that time will be the ultimate comfort in my life.

May the wish I made at the Festival of Lights come true for everyone and a Merry Christmas to all.

To my friends, family, and dearest ones, I wish you a season of peace, harmony, and happiness for you and your loved ones and a prosperous new year ahead.

Breaking Down

Last week, I cried myself to sleep. On top of a stressful work week, something had upset me for quite a while and an event at work triggered those very sad emotions.
When I got home, I felt deeply misunderstood, and after dinner, I felt like I wanted to shut down. The more I thought about the pain, the more the tears flowed.

I couldn't stop myself from crying, and I eventually fell asleep. About an hour later, I woke up trying to function normally again, then my family caught a glimpse of me and asked me what happened.

At that point I broke down once more and couldn't stop. I have not felt this sad for a long, long time... :(

Some people say it's good to be able to cry it out, and time and friendship can help you get through the negative emotions.

I am glad I have the support of family and friends. But my hope is that the situation that brought on this episode will not last forever :S